And Then The Real Fun Starts!

Don't mind how sleepy I look!

I did it.... I have let go of Mistaken's draft  and it is on it's way to be edited by a very dear and trusted friend. Normally I would definitely recommend using a professional editor, however my friend Andrea is someone that I feel will help improve and polish Mistaken into its final form. She is very well educated, well-spoken, and an avid reader. If it were anyone else, and if my money situation wasn't what it is currently... I would certainly utilize a more established editor.

But I digress. My point of this post is that after all this time I have loosened my grip on my debut book. I am not going to call it my baby. When I picked up the print copy I made for her... I'll admit I got slightly misty-eyed though.  It feels weird that right now I don't have any of Mistaken  to work on.

Oh... about that.

Now that we know the printing is finally imminent within the next few months, I have been gearing up to promote not only Mistaken, but it's release party. I  have learned a lot from other indie authors and also have some plans of my own. I will be going into detail in the coming blogs, and they will start getting more frequent.

On top of that, I am working on the outline to my next book "Possess" and am getting equally as amped about writing it as I am about releasing Mistaken. 

Despite all this bunch of literary awesomeness, much of my life outside of writing is a bit disjointed. From work issues to illness in the family, life is throwing a lot at my little household right now.  But I am taking it as a lesson. 

When you are going through hell, hold on even stronger to your dreams and make your own luck. Keep your chin up and keep at it. Something has to give eventually, don't let it be you!

Speaking of...I finally passed my laps in derby! Told ya a  little hard work will go a long way!

Don't Beat Yourself Up-- But Don't Let Yourself Slack off

The past few weeks have been interesting. Not in a bad way, but not in a great way either. Yesterday my doctor gave me news that I saw coming...from a mile away. Diabetes runs in my family. I actually had a doctor (not the same one) tell me I have horrible genes.... there is a reason I don't see her anymore! Yes, it runs on both sides of my family, my mom, my dad, my aunt, my grand parents.... blah blah blah... But this also may have been preventable. Maybe not...maybe even if I was taking the best care of myself eventually I would still have a doctor telling me what she told me on Wednesday. There is two ways I could deal with it that probably wouldn't help my situation at all...in fact it would probably hurt it.


I could blame myself for not sticking to a healthier diet or dropping the weight I need to drop and make myself feel terrible for something that I am going to always be stuck with.

I could blame it on my horrible genes... after all, I was probably going to get this anyways...

But you know what I am doing instead? Neither... beating myself up or throwing the blame onto something that is supposedly out of my hands won't help. Instead I am making an effort to stay positive, stay active, and make better decisions about what I eat. Is it going to be easy? NO....but if I want to live and be happy that is what I have to do, right? I have seen Diabetes' effects on the body if it isn't in check...that is not a road I want to go down.

Now, you might be wondering what this has to do with writing...because it totally does have something to do with it!  Amidst doctors visits and my general feeling like crap... I haven't written in a couple weeks either. Let me make that clearer, I haven't been writing more of my WIP, and my blogging has been less frequent. On one end of the stick, I  could get upset at myself for not keeping to goal, which would probably not help me write more. Or I could simply blame my lack of progress on feeling like crap. Well...to a point that is valid, but I am feeling a bit better now that we have figured out what has been making me feel that way. And I am still not writing... hmmm. I've set Friday/Saturday to tentatively get back into it. I've been working on the outline too so that should help.

At some point in both writing and life you have to kick your ass back into gear. You have to learn to persevere. Don't beat yourself up if you don't always make your goals...but don't make a habit of not making them.

-Rayvenne

Critiques & Improvements

I finally got up the nerve to join a writing group. I got my first critique today and I have to say it was helpful and really insightful. Some of the things I was told, I had sort of been aware of but all in all it was nice to get an unbiased opinion on my writing and to hear it wasn't completely horrible. Though, as a writer I think we usually have some level of confidence in our abilities, otherwise we would never try.

I just purchased "How Not to Write A Novel" so that I can read it on my kindle. I have heard so many good reviews about this book so I thought I'd give it a shot. I will probably post some of my thoughts and comments from it on here.

Speaking of writing tips, there are tons of great writing blogs that I have been lucky enough to find. In the list of blogs I follow you should definitely browse through some of them.  One of my particular favorites has to be Jodie Renner's blog. She is an editor and a retired teacher. She has great advice and tips on her blog.

I don't have much to say today, I have been a little bit under the weather this week, so you may not hear from me til Episode One of  Tales In Midtown. I can promise this first episode should fun....twisted fun.

-Rayvenne

My writing Soundtrack- How I Get in the Mood.

Music has always been a big part of my life. I just wish I could make some good noises come out of my electric guitar though. Also I would need to get super skinny/heroin-chic to pull off that whole rockstar image. But I don't like huge crowds, so that probably wouldn't help either :)

Even if I can't be a rockstar, music has always helped me in some way. To deal with my own emotions, to help me celebrate when I am happy, and it even helps me write. Many times, music has gotten me into the state of mind I need when I feel like I can't write. If you think about the logic behind it, it really can help!

Just last night we were watching a movie about a lady that loses her dog (whom is her only companion...I won't give you the name of the movie, but don't see it...) If you love cute doggies...you will cry like a baby. And while you are sobbing for her cute little dog, you will notice the depressing music playing as she waits to find out that he did in fact die. Seriously...if you watch that part....this will be you!

So, when I write, I nearly treat it the same, since the damn story keeps playing over in my head til I write it out, I might as well put music to it.

If I know I will be writing something sad, I tend to listen to something kind of emo, that maybe has the same theme as what I am writing. Did someone just die? Listen to a song about losing someone! Maybe one that particularly speaks to you and nearly brings you to tears (I admit I have cried while writing lol). Since I do follow my outline for the most part, I do know what should be coming up next, so I pick a playlist accordingly. For example... someone is about to get gunned down by several gunmen.... so  I write with the song "Bulls on Parade" by- Rage Against the Machine on.

I have always paid alot of attention to how songs make me feel, as well as their lyrics... here is why I think this is a good song, at least for me, when writing a scene where someone may be getting gunned down. The instruments itself have a sorta intimidating and violent feel too them. And you here Zack screaming

"They rally round your family, with a pocket full of shells!"

When I am writing flashbacks of Dillan and Jamie, in the happy times, before he died, but I still want it to feel a little bittersweet I might put on "First Day of  My Life"- by Bright eyes.

Some reasons why I might use this song is the general overall feel is a sweet love song, but to me it comes off a little bittersweet.

Yours is the first face that I saw
I think I was blind before I met you
Now I don’t know where I am
I don’t know where I’ve been
But I know where I want to go

And so I thought I’d let you know
That these things take forever
I especially am slow
But I realize that I need you
And I wondered if I could come home

Ah yes, that last line is what I am talking about. 

Anyways, so if you are having trouble writing, try making a soundtrack and writing to it

Happy writing!

Rayvenne

Meet The Cast of Mistaken: Antagonists and Supporting Cast

I was going to do at least one more of these types of posts, but then I realized that some of the big supporting characters and antagonists don't appear right away and for good reasons. After all isn't that part of the suspense? The mystery? (okay...I'm being dork, but seriously...isn't it?)

So today, instead of introducing you to Dillan and Trey's evil nemesis (IF they really exist! MUHAHAHA..ehem excuse me) I thought I would talk about  some of their internal antagonists,  and one of my favorite supporting cast members too.

The one thing I can tell you about the characters that are antagonists in Mistaken is that it becomes apparent early on that Trey may have gotten mixed in with the wrong crowd, and other characters are just two-faced and greedy. I hope that doesn't give too much away!

So yes, Dillan definitely, DEFINITELY has some inner demons to deal with. The most obvious is her depression, living in what happened/as the victim. Early on we see how much she clings to Jamie/anything that reminds her of him. She can't let go. Now I think after being with someone for 9 years it is pretty difficult to accomplish that, but you have to try, and she isn't.  But her inability to "let go" transforms into other parts of her life as well. She can't "let go" of anything anymore. Her inhibitions, her anger, her fears...nothing...

Another inner conflict with Dillan is her feelings for Trey. With him looking exactly like Jamie, how easy would it be to let herself fall for him, and pretend... But that is a terrible idea obviously because just like Jamie, he is a completely seperate person, with different ideas, feelings, likes, and mannerisms.Whether she is truly starting to like him, or whether she is just trying to replace Jamie it is unclear to her.

Now to Trey. We discussed him yesterday and I think that his two biggest inner conflicts are the lies (lies...all LIES!) and his inability to let go as well. Mainly letting go of his mistakes so that he can learn from them. I have literally read scenes with Trey in it and told him to "grow some" out loud. I suppose that was rude of me but I think he eventually listened! Going along with the lies (cues Frau Farbissina again), he starts to have feelings for Dillan which not only conflict with the "don't do your dead brother's chick" code, but also means if he really cares about her that he is going to need to come clean to her.

Now... there isn't a huge list of people in the supporting cast (at least not that I can talk about right now), but there is Dillan's friend Kay.

Kay also met Dillan when she first moved to Midtown. Naturally, going for the same major, they saw each other quite a bit so the friendship just happened.  Needless to say Kay also knew Jamie very well as Dillan's other half, so while she doesn't exactly understand what Dillan is going through it pains her to see her friend in her current state. Many times she reaches out to Dillan even after Dillan pushes her away or blows her off. I think Kay of all the characters in the book has the biggest flaw. She cares way too much! No..it isn't a bad thing at all...but man does it suck when you are that friend. All you want to do is help, but sometimes you have to step back and let your friend go through whatever they need to. Sometimes the best thing you can do is be there for them when they come out of it. 
Kay was inspired by a few people that are very near and dear to me. Originally her part in this story was quite small, but just her being there for Dillan has made her a big part of the story.

Well, I am off to hit my writing goal for the day, then back to bed. Still sick :( Bummer. However I don't know if you noticed but I am STEADILY approaching the halfway mark in my first draft of Mistaken. Four days and counting that I have been hitting my writing goals. I would insert a clip of Stewie doing his sexy party but I already put two youtube videos in this post today..

Oh...what the hell!

-Rayvenne

Meet The Cast of Mistaken: Trey

Thanks so much to the people that commented on Dillan's introduction!  I am pleased to see she was so well recieved. Now the person I am going to introduce you to today is a bit more blurred, as far as if he is good or if he is bad. Honestly, I can't give out too much about him either without giving away the story either. So today I introduce you to Trey, Jamie's estranged twin brother.

Say what? Yes, he has an identical twin! (cue dramatic look) I can give that much away because it is going to be on the back cover of the book.  Speaking of the cover, if some of you have visited my "Current Projects" page, you will have already seen Trey.

Stock Photo Courtesy  David Nanchin

Yep, that blue-eyed suspicious looking guy on the cover is Trey. He is a bit on the scruffier side compared to his brother but still a very handsome.  He has been out of his brother's life since they were both 18, at least for the most part. Ten years later, he makes his way from Portland to Midtown (a fictional East Coast City) in hopes of reuniting and making amends with his brother.

If you read yesterday's post...you all know what happened to poor Jamie. Unfortunately for Trey, he did not get there before his brother was killed. Jamie also never bothered to tell Dillan about Trey either. So rather then finding his brother in Midtown, he finds a very confused and very suspicious Dillan.

One hell of a situation to be in, huh? Right away, Trey is taken with Dillan, but of course finds himself conflicted with the attraction to his dead brother's girl. It also doesn't help that he is NOT being very honest with Dillan for a good while. Trey has been one of those kind of guys that always meant well...but as they say "the road to hell is paved with good intentions." Trey has many skeletons in his closet, but we come to find out quickly that Jamie was even hiding a few of his own from Dillan too.

I think that there are many times where you will want to like Trey, but also be slightly mad at him until he finally grows a pair. Similar to Dillan's conflicts with herself, Trey has problems with himself that he eventually has to face and overcome in order to go from being a bad guy to a hero. In the process of making that transition however, he may have to sacrifice the most.

World, meet Trey!

Meet The Cast of Mistaken: Dillan

Today I thought I would give you all a peek into the world of "Mistaken", my current work in progress, which I have slated to be published in early 2011. Instead of just popping an excerpt up on here, I thought over the next couple days I could introduce you to a few special people that make this story possible. The main characters!

So, today you get to meet Dillan. She is a pretty awesome young woman in my opinion. Yes, Dillan is female, no she doesn't have a last name as of yet, but I am sure it will  come to me at some point. Now I know technically it is bad to first think of what your character looks like, but since I am a very visual person it honestly helps me develop the rest of them, able to get past them only being skin deep. So one of the first things I do when developing my outline is I pick out pictures (thanks Google!) that I think somewhat represent how my characters might look. It is almost like a casting session for a movie (such high hopes, I know! hehe). Anyways... Dillan I have found a bit harder to pin down if she'd look like any one person in particular, but here are a few faces that kind of remind me of her.

I think that Dillan really has that girl next door look, in that she downplays just how beautiful she is. Not everyone appreciates the real depth of her beauty, except the "boy next door". Dillan is 28 years old, a very accomplished Graphics Design Artist who escaped small town life to pursue life in the city. She moved to Midtown for college when she was 18 years old and has lived their ever since. It isn't the best city, and she probably wouldn't have stayed if she hadn't met Jamie.

Ah, Jamie... he rocked her world. They met in the mosh pit at a local music festival called MidFest when they were both 18. From the moment she accidentally gave him a bloody nose (these things do tend to happen when moshing), they were hooked on each other. Part of it could be attributed to the fact that neither one knew many people in town, both new to the area, but there was just something between them. A magnetic pull that was too strong to ignore.

Not being the traditional type, both were happily content to co-habitate. Life with Jamie, while not always perfect, was just right. A year before we come to meet Dillan, her life felt to her, like something out of a fairytale. She counted herself lucky to have the life she now had, and of course Jamie.

Now at 28,  and heading straight for 30, we come to meet a very different woman than before. It only took one day to take the most important thing in her life away from her, and the impact, the hole it left in her  is very visible. With Jamie violently stripped away from her the night of his intended proposal to her, Dillan's view on life and on love has darkened. So much so that she is failing to see she still has people in her life that care about her and genuinely worry about her. She is unable to see past what happened to Jamie and what it has done to her. Once being a bright beam of energy, the life of the party, we now find Dillan as a recluse, nearly despising any human interaction; many times too lost in her own head and in her own grief to pay attention to anyone or anything else.

However, through the course of Mistaken, Dillan somehow manages to find strengths in herself, even though her pain is still very palpable. She is the strength in all of us. When we get pulled through the wringer and we feel we have nothing left, that is when this strength comes out. When you think you can't stand back up, Dillan  comes out in all of us when we take those slow, painful steps and pull ourselves back out of the mud.

Dillan has a very special place in my own heart. She and Mistaken came about a year  after my father was taken from me in a horrific motorcycle accident, when I was still very much depressed and angry with the injustice of the world. It is never easy to lose someone, and it is even harder when it happens suddenly and you find you are out of time to make amends, say goodbye, or at least tell them you love them. In developing and writing Mistaken ( I had previously started and got a good way through, then decided to completely delete and rewrite it) I have found my own inner strengths, and I have been able to finally lift up my head and realize there is still a whole world going on around me.

So without further ado, world, meet Dillan!

On fighting My Inner Control Freak...

The blog link I posted in my last post has actually helped me push forward. Two days now I have hit my set goal. Albeit later than I wanted to in the night, but I still stuck with it and pushed through the difficult parts. Sometimes it is really hard to battle that inner control freak though. Constantly I had to remind myself, this is the first draft. What matters is getting it down on paper. Remember Rayvenne...first draft will not be publishing ready, even if you want it to be, silly girl!

Well, 2 days down, 41 to go.

Also, I have passed the 20k mark. So I am not even halfway yet. Still writing 20k words feels like an accomplishment. :)

Goodnight!

-Rayvenne